


Where Is My Cow

by ShayMcSudonim



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Filk, Gen, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8162582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShayMcSudonim/pseuds/ShayMcSudonim
Summary: Very short song-parody-crack-fic. Written because finals are stressful, and have brought to my attention how "Where Is My Cow?" has the same meter as "Don't Stop Me Now."





	

In the caverns beneath Koom Valley, a man wanders, lost. He _knows_ he is lost and he despairs, because it is just now turning six o' clock.

* * *

(To the tune of Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now")

* * *

Vimes:

"Tonight, I can't read to my son

from in this cave.

Can't find the way-ay-ay out.

* * *

"And my mind,

is slipping from my grasp,

Damn,

floating around, insanity.

* * *

"So,

Where

Is

My

Cow?

…

"Where

Is

My...?

"'Cause it doesn't go 'cluck cluck'

That isn't my cow!

* * *

"I'm a copper just tryin' to find the truth.

Like old Stone Face

Upholding the laws of society!

* * *

"I'm a father now. Gotta stand, and set an example!

Sort out this whole Troll/Drawf mess

at Koom Valley!

* * *

"I think that I'm possessed, yeah,

the Summoning Dark, _Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?_

Sometimes we have to watch ourselves

And know that there are things a good man just doesn't do.

* * *

"Where is my cow—?"

* * *

At that moment, a wolf tackled Vimes to the ground, snapping him back to reality.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Only did the first minute of the song. If you can think of more/better lyrics, feel free to leave them in a review.


End file.
